Archive for the ‘birthmother’ Category


April 29, 2008

I was reviewing adoptee news on google. I found this story. It discusses one of the legislators responsible for Maine’s turnabout on their law. It goes into effect in 2009. Her name is Roberta Beavers. She has just announced her candidacy. We need more like her. They titled their bill “The Adoptee Human Rights Bill.” She also received an Angel in Adoption award. That shocks me considering she went against the normal train of thought on this issue. I gotta love her anyway. She does an awesome job. I know that she still has a lot of work ahead of her.

Here is the story about her. Check it out. For the Maine folks out there, please vote for her.

SOUTH BERWICK, Maine — Roberta Beavers has announced her candidacy for representative to the Maine Legislature, District 148, which includes all of Eliot and part of South Berwick. She will be running against Republican incumbent Sarah Lewin.

Beavers said she has been busy since she narrowly lost her first election bid against Lewin in 2006.

“The primary thing was working on the Adoptee Human Rights Bill that passed in 2007,” she said. “I was commuting often to Augusta, where I hand-selected a bipartisan team of sponsors for this bill.

“It was the right combination of people from both sides of the aisle and from the House and the Senate,” she added. “The bill empowers adult adopted people to obtain a copy of their original birth certificate and pay the same fee as anybody not adopted, and also empowers the parents of origin whether of not they wish to be contacted.”

In addition to the legislative work, Beavers said she has become involved with the Eliot and South Berwick historical societies, both garden clubs, both libraries as far as fund-raising, and the same for the Great Works Regional Land Trust.

For her work in adoption, Beavers received a U.S. Congressional Angel in Adoption Award and went down to Washington to receive it along with nine other members of her legislative team, including the bill’s sponsors.

“I have been listening carefully to the people of Eliot and South Berwick, respecting their concerns and advocating for them in Augusta and will continue to do so,” said Beavers.

She said that two of the most critical concerns are energy costs and health care.

“Since Maine consumes less power than it exports, let’s run our own electricity system or join the neighboring Canadian grid and reduce the barriers to clean renewable energy resources,” she said. “The Canadians are willing to talk, and we should be too.”

To reduce health-care costs, she said: “Let’s get rid of the near monopoly by one health insurance company. Our people and our businesses are being hurt badly. Without radical change here, there will be no change in the overall business environment.”

Beavers’ work experience includes 18 years in the chemical industry as a research chemist, marketing analyst and marketing manager, and seven years as a small business owner in computers. She gained her greatest career satisfaction as a career counselor and as an art gallery manager for nonprofit organizations, she said.



April 23, 2008

A blogger friend of mine wrote a post that made me stop and think. Really think. I don’t like to discuss my feelings on adoption. Many times for me I can’t define those feelings and thoughts. I usually let my friend, Joy, do it. She is so eloquent with her words. I am usually shaking my head thinking,”yea that is it right there in a nutshell.” I consider adoption as it is currently practiced a crime against children and their families. I do, however, see the need for it in our society. We do have children who are abused and need homes.

What is the definition of violence?


  • S: (n) violence, force (an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)) “he may accomplish by craft in the long run what he cannot do by force and violence in the short one”
  • S: (n) ferocity, fierceness, furiousness, fury, vehemence, violence, wildness (the property of being wild or turbulent) “the storm’s violence”
  • S: (n) violence (a turbulent state resulting in injuries and destruction etc.)

There is no definition of emotional violence. Adoptive parents don’t see adoption as violent. To me emotional violence is the cruelty and manipulation words used against a person to get the object desired. The object of course in adoption is the child. Adoptees and their natural parents are often the target of such emotional violence.

With natural parents, its the name calling, manipulation of emotions and thought processes, and isolation from family and friends. These are just the things off the top of my head. I know with my own natural mother that she was tied to her bed, denied proper nutrition, verbal cruelty, denial of adequate pain relief. It is the denial of their parenthood because the natural parents have relinquished their rights as a citizen. They don’t stop being parents because of this. The biological connection will always be there.

I have read the Birthmother, Good Mother article out by the National Council for Adoption. They want mothers called this. Its a tactic to get women to relinquish their rights. In their Adoption Factbook III, they want the adoptive parents to call these mothers and fathers of loss biological strangers. They want to make these parents insignificant and nonessential. That is emotional cruelty at its finest.

With adoptees, we face emotional cruelty and violence. Everyone does some form of genealogy at some point or another. They are either told stories or they have read them through out family bibles and other family paperwork. Adoptees are told to suck it up. They are told to be grateful that they were not aborted or dumped. They are told to accept and move on. Society still treats adoptees who search as insane, mentally ill and angry. If an adoptee like myself speaks out against current adoption practices, we are summarily dismissed with all of these titles. Its violence at its finest on a very deep emotional level. We constantly have to fight the walking of the edge. Some are strong and can ignore it. Some give in and commit suicide. Others choose to ignore the elephant in the room.

To answer the question, yes, I do believe that adoption is a form of abusive, emotional violence. How do we change it? Tell me your answers.