Archive for April, 2008


April 30, 2008

I know many bloggers have google alerts for many things. I usually have google alerts for certain key words: birth certificate, adoptee, adoption, birthmother, adoptive parents and other key words.

This blogger came up on my alerts for this keyword and blogging. He is discussing voter rights in Indiana. He quotes another article. His article brings up critical points for us adoptees. Our amended birth certificates look odd in comparison to the non adopted. I have heard stories where the adopted have had to prove their identity with the federal government. Even the non adopted have had this issue because they have no birth certificates. In this article, the voter must have their original birth certificates. I would hope that a certified copy would work. I have two certified copies of my amended birth certificate. One of course was for personal use. I am going to eventually do a family scrap book where I can put all of my family’s history in it. The other of course is for proving that I am an American citizen.

It is getting harder to prove that you are a citizen. These kind of tactics hurt all but adoptees get hurt even worse. Not only is it getting harder for us to get passports but now we may not be able to vote. Allowing adoptee access to their records could help us prove this information. The fight against adoptee access seems to be determined to make us into property that is exchanged. How many adoptees must have their rights violated before the state governments stop and listen to us?



April 30, 2008

There are several newspaper articles out there. Here is another one as well. Evidently Minnesota Senators are speaking with the president of Guatemala. Now with Vietnam shutting down their adoptions on July 1st, prospective adoptive parents are contacting their legislators all over the country.

I don’t want to really blast adoptive parents. I guess that I have no choice though. Do you realize that you are causing this kind of thing? You are causing the demand for these children. You are causing the corruption in these countries. The adoption agencies want the money so badly that they will do anything to get it. When these agencies support the orphanages in these countries, they are wanting children. They are not in it for the children’s sake. They are in it to get children for YOU.

Can you at least stop and look at it from my point of view? When your adopted child grows up, they will find out about the corruption and the deception. Is fair to your child to find out about this situation? To find out that their natural parents were forced into giving them up. If you are adopting children that have been hurt by the system that they live in, why aren’t you adopting from the foster care system then? The issues are just the same as in these other countries. At least here you can find out the history of your child.


April 30, 2008

I was checking out google news and came across this article. I would like to know this author’s definition of “birthmother.” I also thought the legal definition is a woman whose legal rights have been terminated. Here is the article.

“This week, Texas Child Protective Services reported that of the 53 girls between the ages of 14 and 17 taken from the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints compound 31 have either given birth or are expecting a child.

That seems to validate suspicions that young girls on the Yearning for Zion Ranch are being stabled for the benefit of older men. The girls who are being abused — and the boys who are being raised to become their abusers — are in danger and should be removed from their families.

But the cure might emotionally devastate the more than 400 children who have been ripped from their birth mothers for nearly a month now. The children’s pain is multiplied by separation from the other “sister wives” in their polygamous households. I hope that authorities are equally sensitive to the reality that these children are being traumatized by separation from members of their families who are not their kin.

Family attachments are often about social attachments, not blood relationships. You don’t have to be raised on a compound to know that sometimes water is as thick as blood.

Member of the family

It’s an old story: A family takes in a needy child or a friendly neighbor. Before you know it, the adoptee has a branch on the family tree.

My “Aunt” Helen was my mother’s best friend when the women were young military wives living in Japan. I grew up considering her a blood relative, and her five sons were my boisterous “cousins.” My husband’s childhood friend has been so close to our family that our kids think of him as “Uncle Duck.”

Detroiter Margaret Keys-Howard had a similar experience. When she was about 4, her mother asked her to look out of the window for a little boy crossing the street.

“She said that his mother had to work late and would not be home to let him in — he was to come to our house,” said Margaret. “I saw the big-headed boy with glasses and a cool ‘Lost in Space’ lunchbox walk to our house, and the story was written. He had a key and the full privileges and responsibilities of all of my mom’s eight other kids. Some 40-plus years later, Leon is my ‘brother.’ “

To imagine being separated because he was not her real brother would have been unthinkable. “Leon is a permanent part of my life,” she said.

Consider the children

It will take months to determine if the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints children were living in an abusive family environment. In the meantime, authorities should be prepared to deal with the authentic grief of separation each child is bound to feel. Grief not just for their birth mothers and full siblings, but for the many other people they had come to know as family.

Contact DESIREE COOPER at Listen to her on public radio’s “Weekend America,” 2-4 p.m. Saturdays on WUOM-FM (91.7) or

The FLDS mothers have not, I repeat, NOT relinquished their parental rights. Granted they are being investigated, however they have not relinquished their parental rights. The State of Texas is still sorting the mess out. I hope that they do it right. Even though we are all horrified at the abuse that these children have suffered, many of these young girls can parent their own children with some assistance. They can adjust to society.

All I am asking is that we just call them mothers not birthmothers. Lets not start coercing these young mothers with relinquishment by using these kind of terms.

Recently in the news on CNN one of these young mothers just gave birth to a baby boy. Congratulations on the birth. I hope and pray that things will be worked out that will allow this young mother to raise her son.


April 29, 2008

I was reviewing adoptee news on google. I found this story. It discusses one of the legislators responsible for Maine’s turnabout on their law. It goes into effect in 2009. Her name is Roberta Beavers. She has just announced her candidacy. We need more like her. They titled their bill “The Adoptee Human Rights Bill.” She also received an Angel in Adoption award. That shocks me considering she went against the normal train of thought on this issue. I gotta love her anyway. She does an awesome job. I know that she still has a lot of work ahead of her.

Here is the story about her. Check it out. For the Maine folks out there, please vote for her.

SOUTH BERWICK, Maine — Roberta Beavers has announced her candidacy for representative to the Maine Legislature, District 148, which includes all of Eliot and part of South Berwick. She will be running against Republican incumbent Sarah Lewin.

Beavers said she has been busy since she narrowly lost her first election bid against Lewin in 2006.

“The primary thing was working on the Adoptee Human Rights Bill that passed in 2007,” she said. “I was commuting often to Augusta, where I hand-selected a bipartisan team of sponsors for this bill.

“It was the right combination of people from both sides of the aisle and from the House and the Senate,” she added. “The bill empowers adult adopted people to obtain a copy of their original birth certificate and pay the same fee as anybody not adopted, and also empowers the parents of origin whether of not they wish to be contacted.”

In addition to the legislative work, Beavers said she has become involved with the Eliot and South Berwick historical societies, both garden clubs, both libraries as far as fund-raising, and the same for the Great Works Regional Land Trust.

For her work in adoption, Beavers received a U.S. Congressional Angel in Adoption Award and went down to Washington to receive it along with nine other members of her legislative team, including the bill’s sponsors.

“I have been listening carefully to the people of Eliot and South Berwick, respecting their concerns and advocating for them in Augusta and will continue to do so,” said Beavers.

She said that two of the most critical concerns are energy costs and health care.

“Since Maine consumes less power than it exports, let’s run our own electricity system or join the neighboring Canadian grid and reduce the barriers to clean renewable energy resources,” she said. “The Canadians are willing to talk, and we should be too.”

To reduce health-care costs, she said: “Let’s get rid of the near monopoly by one health insurance company. Our people and our businesses are being hurt badly. Without radical change here, there will be no change in the overall business environment.”

Beavers’ work experience includes 18 years in the chemical industry as a research chemist, marketing analyst and marketing manager, and seven years as a small business owner in computers. She gained her greatest career satisfaction as a career counselor and as an art gallery manager for nonprofit organizations, she said.


April 29, 2008

I found this link on a homeschool blog that I discovered yesterday. Its a way to earn money. I love to blog as every one knows. My hubby is always harping on me to make money. He also wants me to keep the house clean and other things. From what my blogger friend said, this actually works. It is not a get rich quick scheme. You have to work at it. I think this just might be the easiest and most enjoyable job that I have ever done. I get to write about the stuff that I know about. Introduce myself to some new products and services. Stay at home with my kids and husband. Write to my heart’s content. Fight the adoptee rights and adoption reform good fight. How can I go wrong?

Below and to the side are links to get you to the correct website.

get paid to blog

get paid to blog


I know that several regular bloggers visit me. I hope that you too can join this. Make adoption reform really known. Lets get paid for it while we do it.

Today I also joined various homeschooling networks and groups. I am looking forward to teaching my kids all kinds of things. There is so much to research and so much to learn. I am looking forward to kicking it off with a brand new start.


April 29, 2008

Recently I spoke with a dear friend of mine. She has been in contact with the Bennett family. Their first attorney recently committed suicide on all days Evelyn’s birthday. Many folks have wondered if there was a connection to the Bennett Family. I would have to have something like this connected to a beautiful child. There will be a court date tomorrow. Please say a prayer for the family. Hopefully something will be done right. Maybe finally Stephanie and her family will have justice soon.

Everyone have a good day tomorrow. Sign up to get paid to blog. I know I have.


April 29, 2008

Okay I have checked this out from another blogger. She is homeschooling mom. Yep I am considering home schooling both of my children. Its just too many issues with where we live. I am so far out in the country that my closest neighbor is fifteen miles away. The roads here are deplorable. Its hard to explain the roads to an obnoxious and asinine sup This particular new addition that you can see on the side of my blog will allow me to earn some money. Maybe not a whole lot but its a start. Hubby is desperate for me to work. Gas and food prices are shooting through the roof. I remember when it cost me 200.00 buckaroos to get the groceries that I get now for 500.00 smackers.

I don’t want to go on food stamps or anything. I doubt that we would get a whole lot anyway. It would help but it would go solely to food. The way my household eats ~ well we need more than that. Not having to take the kids to school would cut out the gas but would have to go to educational stuff.

I have a good educational background. I have a computer. My children love the outdoors which I know that I can use for biology stuff. This way they can be at home. Enjoy horseback riding with their father. Learn the plants and animals that are native. I can teach my daughters independent thinking. Heck it took me thirty years to get this point. I think it would be better for both of them.

So join on the fun. We can create our own adoption reform money making machine. We can get our words heard louder than ever before.


April 29, 2008

I am sure that everyone in the adoption world has heard this story. According to the U.S. Embassy in Hanoi, Vietnam is shutting down its adoption program. The Associated Press broke the story on it. They interviewed both Holt International Adoption Services and Families Through International Adoption. Both of these agencies can’t be taken with any kind of creditability. Families Through International Adoption got caught up in the Masha Allen disaster. Holt International was the agency that placed four Korean children who died recently in the news.

All of this based on a nine page report by the U. S. Embassy. According to their report, the irregularities abound. They are pretty scary. It is profit motivated.

One quote from the report:

“According to DIA, orphanages are required to refer one child for foreign adoption for every x dollars donated by the ASP. Thus, if the ASP funds a $10,000 project and the per-child donation is set at $1000 per child, then the orphanage would be required to refer 10 children for intercountry adoption to the ASP. Should the orphanage not have 10 children who are qualified for intercountry adoption, then, according to DIA, the orphanage director is required to find the additional children to complete his side of the agreement. Two orphanage directors have confirmed to consular officers that they are feeling pressure to find more children for their orphanage to “compensate” ASPs for their donations.”

An ASP is an adoption service provider aka an adoption agency like Holt International or Families Through Internatonal Adoption. I am not saying that these folks do this but many adoption agencies state on their websites that they contribute to these types of orphanages all over the world. They ask for donations for these orphanages on their websites as well.

Here is an example:

Faith International Adoptions states on their website that they have helped place water purifying systems in orphanages around Vietnam. Are they expecting children in return for this generous contribution? After this report, one has to wonder. Their orphanage that they support is Go Vap Orphanage. Again I am not saying that they are in fact doing this. So many of these agencies have orphanages that they support. I hope that they do in fact good works for them for the children for the children’s sake. Not the sake of the adoption service provider.

Here is another perturbing issue is that these orphanages do not encourage domestic adoption because they don’t get additional funds from it. They have had Vietnamese citizens interested in adoption.

Here is the excerpt from the report:

“Orphanage directors in two provinces have confirmed to the Embassy that while they receive applications from families interested in domestic adoption, they do not process these applications. They have said that the reason these applications are not processed is that their orphanage will receive a donation from an ASP if the baby is adopted internationally, but not if the child is adopted domestically. One orphanage director stated that he would need “permission” from the ASP funding his orphanage in order to release a child for domestic adoption, noting that the monthly support payments the ASP made for the children gave the ASP the “authority” to decide the child’s future.”

Again alarming. I wonder if this will slow the adoption industry as a whole. I doubt it. They will just find another country to adopt from or encourage laws here in the United States that perpetuate unethical practices.

Earlier today the Associated Press put out this report. Vietnamese officials are upset over the report. Instead of closing adoptions to Americans in September, they are closing them at the beginning of July 2008.

There have been rumors of issues with Vietnam for months now. All of the Vietnam bloggers have been discussing it. Adoption Integrity, Adoption Ethics and Issues, and many others. Several of my bloggin buddies have been writing as well. I also know that Ethica was also involved in the process in Vietnam to ensure the identity and ethics in adoption.

All this shortly on the heels of Guatemala. Ahh what are prospective adopters going to do now. Is attaining a child so important that we lose sight of ethics in adoption?


April 26, 2008

As an adoptee, I feel its vitally important. I was reading here. The topic being discussed is “What do you want people to know about adoption.” Its a good topic but its aimed at adoptive parents only. If we all want to change adoption, we need to include adoptees and natural parents. After reviewing the site, its more about foster to adoption adoptive parents. I get that some natural parents in this facet of adoption are abusive to their children. They do make bad choices that lead to their children being removed.

I have posted two comments on this forum. I think both comments will be deleted and ignored. I don’t mean to start a fight on there. We have to acknowledge that adoptive parents would not be parents without the natural parents. To ignore this means we dissed the future adoptees. Natural parents and adoptive parents are both the real parents. Adoptees far and wide can and do love both sets of parents without the difficulty that the NCFA loves to profess. The NCFA loves to keep us all separated. They love to keep us at each other’s throats.

They don’t want us unifying under one voice.

Recently I have had visitors from Tualantin Oregon. They have been reading hot and heavy for extended periods of time. They have been linking to me via some kind of file that is labeled as a threat. I am only a threat to those that violate the laws and rights of natural parents. It angers me that there are people who believe its right to trick a young mother into relinquishing her child. Yep I am talking about Camira Bailey, Stephanie Bennett, Ibbaanika Bond, and Allison Quets. I know the attorneys representing the interests of the adoptive parents and the adoption agency don’t like me much. I am not a natural mother but an ADOPTEE. I am that adoptee twenty, thirty, and fourty years down the road that finds out what exactly you have done to me and my family. These agencies know what they are doing to the natural parents. There are too many loopholes in adoption. These loopholes have lead to the corruption of adoption. Adoption is supposed to be about the child. Finding good parents for the child. Its supposed to be about the best interest of the child. That being said, I think that adult adoptees should have their rights restored to them. They had no choice and/or voice in adoption. Once they reach an age of majority, they should have it. Then again I am an adoptee. Of course I feel that way. These adoptees of these parents will find what I and many others have written about them and their families. They will find out what has been done so that these entitled adopters could be parents. I know most of these agencies can sleep at night. How is beyond me. Adopters I wonder about too. How can you look at yourself every morning knowing what you have done. The sealing of records will only last eighteen or maybe even twenty one years. They will know. As one who has found out that her father wanted her, they will be pissed. They will no longer trust you. They will feel invalidated and wronged. You will have to answer questions. You will have to face these grown children. One of these days records will no longer be sealed from the adoptee. Are you ready? Are both sets of parents ready to face the truth? I hope so.


April 23, 2008

A blogger friend of mine wrote a post that made me stop and think. Really think. I don’t like to discuss my feelings on adoption. Many times for me I can’t define those feelings and thoughts. I usually let my friend, Joy, do it. She is so eloquent with her words. I am usually shaking my head thinking,”yea that is it right there in a nutshell.” I consider adoption as it is currently practiced a crime against children and their families. I do, however, see the need for it in our society. We do have children who are abused and need homes.

What is the definition of violence?


  • S: (n) violence, force (an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)) “he may accomplish by craft in the long run what he cannot do by force and violence in the short one”
  • S: (n) ferocity, fierceness, furiousness, fury, vehemence, violence, wildness (the property of being wild or turbulent) “the storm’s violence”
  • S: (n) violence (a turbulent state resulting in injuries and destruction etc.)

There is no definition of emotional violence. Adoptive parents don’t see adoption as violent. To me emotional violence is the cruelty and manipulation words used against a person to get the object desired. The object of course in adoption is the child. Adoptees and their natural parents are often the target of such emotional violence.

With natural parents, its the name calling, manipulation of emotions and thought processes, and isolation from family and friends. These are just the things off the top of my head. I know with my own natural mother that she was tied to her bed, denied proper nutrition, verbal cruelty, denial of adequate pain relief. It is the denial of their parenthood because the natural parents have relinquished their rights as a citizen. They don’t stop being parents because of this. The biological connection will always be there.

I have read the Birthmother, Good Mother article out by the National Council for Adoption. They want mothers called this. Its a tactic to get women to relinquish their rights. In their Adoption Factbook III, they want the adoptive parents to call these mothers and fathers of loss biological strangers. They want to make these parents insignificant and nonessential. That is emotional cruelty at its finest.

With adoptees, we face emotional cruelty and violence. Everyone does some form of genealogy at some point or another. They are either told stories or they have read them through out family bibles and other family paperwork. Adoptees are told to suck it up. They are told to be grateful that they were not aborted or dumped. They are told to accept and move on. Society still treats adoptees who search as insane, mentally ill and angry. If an adoptee like myself speaks out against current adoption practices, we are summarily dismissed with all of these titles. Its violence at its finest on a very deep emotional level. We constantly have to fight the walking of the edge. Some are strong and can ignore it. Some give in and commit suicide. Others choose to ignore the elephant in the room.

To answer the question, yes, I do believe that adoption is a form of abusive, emotional violence. How do we change it? Tell me your answers.