Archive for August, 2007

ANNOUNCING ORIGINSUSA

August 30, 2007

PRESS RELEASE:

August 29, 2007

OriginsUSA, a growing national organization, has undergone major exciting changes. Newly reorganized, and independent of affiliation with any other organization, OriginsUSA works for natural family preservation, justice, education, and support for people separated by adoption.August elections established the new slate of officers:
Bernadette Wright, President;
Sandy Young, Vice President;
Kathy Aderhold, Treasurer; and
Mary Garvens, Secretary.
The Board of Directors are: Jeanne Gartland, Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy, Donna Stevanov.

OriginsUSA is the preeminent voice for mothers of all ages who have lost children to adoption. OriginsUSA supports all people who are separated by adoption in an open, inclusive, and democratic atmosphere.
OriginsUSA incorporated in the state of Virginia on February 2, 2007.

Tax exempt status, as a 501c(3), is pending.

The organization is invigorated with a new commitment to uphold its mission of justice, education, and support for all mothers who have lost children to adoption. OriginsUSA has local support groups in Maryland, Texas, and Virginia. Groups in Georgia, Louisiana, New York and Wisconsin will be active in the near future.

Committee involvement affords members an opportunity to share their expertise and enthusiasm, while healing through empowerment.
Current committee chairs are:
Finance/Fundraising, Kathy Aderhold;
Legislation, Karen Kottmeier;
Infrastructure, Jane Edwards;
Membership, Mirah Riben and Mary Garvens;
Newsletter, Sandy Young;
PR, Mirah Riben and Jeanne Gartland; and
Website, Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy.
OriginsUSA’s new website at: http://www.Origins-USA.org documents the organization’s goals and past accomplishments, such as:

* OriginsUSA orchestrated a “blogger blitz” to build public support for Stephanie Bennett, a young mother attempting to regain custody of her daughter after being coerced into relinquishment. One hundred and forty bloggers participated the first day and a second blogger blitz is underway for Ms. Bennett.

* OriginsUSA has built a growing database of attorneys, to provide referrals for parents, coerced into surrendering their children, who are seeking legal redress.

* Results of Dr. Bernadette Wright’s, Mothers’ Voices, Surrender Experiences and Long-Term Effects, a study of 214 mothers surrendering their children between 1956 and 2003, was recently released. This study is available at the Origins-USA.org website, or upon request.OriginsUSA’s membership is increasing on a daily basis.

Membership is $20 a year and open to all who support OriginsUSA’s mission of family preservation. Membership includes newsletter and access to online forum. Scholarships are available as needed.

Karen Wilson Buterbaugh tendered her resignation as President and board member on June 24, 2007. She is continuing her research to obtain an inquiry into past adoption practices. Affiliation with all other Origins’ was terminated in August, 2007. Contact: For further information contact bod@originsusa.org or Mirah Riben, PR Chair, OriginsUSA, OriginsPR@originsusa.org.

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A LOVELY POST BY FAUX CLAUD ON MYSPACE ~ GOTTA LOVE THE LIKE MINDEDNESS

August 30, 2007

As you will, I am sure recall, back in April,OUSA had a pretty successful Blogger Blitz for Stephanie Bennett. It was great because over 100 bloggers took part, but kinda didn’t do what we needed as main steam media STILL is ignoring the travisty of justice being done to that poor Ohio family.And it still continues.In April of 2007, Stephanie had a hearing in the Probate Court, and awaited the findings of the court. The agency said that was the court that would be the correct court for the hearing, and the attorney that Stephanie had at the time didn’t fight it. That court has YET to rule.In the meantime, the Bennetts hired a new attorney to represent them. The new attorney who was familiar with Adoption Law, as their previous attorney was not, said that since both Stephanie and Evelyn were minors, the court with jurisdiction would actually be the Juvenile Court. On May 22, 2007 they appeared in Juvenile Court. Stephanie’s attorney came away from that hearing in very bad spirits, since it seemed that the Agency’sattorney, who is also married to one of the sisters who run the agency, was very friendly with the judge. The attorney left shortly after the hearing to go on vacation with her family, and was using her down time to plan the appeal that she was almost certain would follow on her return. She returned to her office from vacation and found the judge’s ruling and was very heartened to find that it seemed that the judge was strongly on the side of Stephanie, and indicated that she would a) allow the results of the polygraph examination that Stephanie was required to take in to the court, not as evidence but as testimony, and b) that Stephanie had been used badly by the system and she was sensitive to the loss she had experienced. She ordered an Evidentiary Hearing be held forthwith, on the validity of the Mother’s consent. Which was good news. And, they waited, through the rest of May, all of June, all of July and into August.Stephanie’s attorney called and tried to set dates for the Evidentiary Hearing, but always something came up, another case, a vacation, a full docket, always something. But since the judge seemed to be understanding how Stephaine was coerced and raped of her own child, it was a patient paniced waiting.Procedurally, the agency’s attorney should have filed an appeal if they were not happy with the judge’s ruling. That’s the way the law works.Instead, they filed a motion for the judge to vacate her own order! Which if you think about it…is insane and makes no logical sense. If a judge rules. they really are NOT supposed to come back later and say..umm yeah, I changed my mind!But guess what happened???With no hearing, no in-chamber meeting, nothing. Just out of the blue, or over a cocktail with the agency’s attorney, or hitting balls on the golf course as one can imagine… the judge decided that she wasn’t the appropriate court, despite what she found in her ruling, and no one bothered to tell Stephanie’s Attorney!!! So, they wait for the Probate Court ruling, which STILL has not been made, and it is now over 4 months ago!!During the time that they waited, the police stepped in and did a DNA of the putativefather who voluntarily went into give it. They also agreed that the umbilical cord ofEvelyn’s would be okay for a sample of DNA. However, since it is the police that aredoing it, and it is for a criminal case, it takes longer than if it were paid for. So, it still hasn’t come back yet. It should be back very soon. In order to get the police interested, Stephanie had to undergo a polygraph which she passed with flying colors. The test was administered by the police department, but it was reviewed and analyzed by not one, but three separate experts who all were in agreement that Stephanie had told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.In the meantime, Judy Bennett, Stephanie’s mother, got word from a “reliable source”that the Attorney General’s office is conducting an investigation of the agency, A Child’s Waiting. Judy called the AG’s office to find out if it is true, and was told that they could not give out information about current investigations, but that if it is so and the AG’s office is investigating, that not only will the agency lose its license, someone will go to jail. WHich ONLY seems fitting, but does NOT get back Eveyln.The “People” who have Eveyln have left the state, and their whereabouts are unknown at this time. They know exactly what is going on, they know all the facts of the case, and yet, they still continue to keep this child, this precious infant, from her mother, and the family that loves her. There is still no adoption as of yet, but one can only guess that they are hiding out, at the agency’s directions, trying to do that “possession is 9/10ths of the law”..and IF anything ever goes on Stephanie’s favor, then they can pull the “We have been her only family for ….blanky blank years..waaaa!” card.Stephanie, the mother, is left in a Hellish Limbo of Unknowing! She can’t talk aboutanything, she can’t do anything, even go to visit her cousin in the event that a hearing will be held and she will get her baby back. She is about to enter her Senior year in High School, a time when she should be worrying about her back-to-school wardrobe, planning her Prom, as an athlete, practicing her basketball moves, and checking out her possible college choices. Instead, she has been thru an ordeal that would, and HAS, broken many older, more sophisticated women. How long can this torture endure? How long can this teenage mother hold out against the machine that is eating her and her infant alive? She has been abused by the father of her child ( which in case you missed it..is a 50 something year old man who sexually abused Stephanie for over 4 years until the pregnancy was a result!), by the system, by the agency, by the School Counselor, by the courts, and by the law that is supposed to protect her. Someone surely should pay for this abuse! And it should not be the Bennetts!Someone should be outraged at the continuation of this travesty and tragedy!! Someoneneeds to stop it, now. SOmeone should care! I am counting on the bloggers. I hope that when you read this you will be as outraged and as furious as I was at the treatment that this young woman has received at the hands of the unscrupulous and unethical agency and courts. UPDATE: Today I received the ruling of the judge in her amendment. This is insane.And, the Bennett family has less than 2 weeks to raise the money to file the appeal orEvelyn could be gone forever!Donations can be made, via Paypal, at http://sendevelynhome.com/default.aspxNow mind you..THIS is NOT the only case going on! It seems more and more I am getting sad desperate emails from new mothers who have been rooked by an agency or their own parents and then, even in their legal revoke periods, when they try to prove freud and duress, the judgements go against them! Their is a young mother in California rilght now..she has a week left to revoke, if that, and cannot find legal help. I just got one the other day from Kansas: Hi Claud,I have a friend that is also in the middle of contesting her adoption in Kansas. Same basic story as me she was forced into signing the papers by the people surrounding her. She has already been to court and lost due to poor representation. She tried to appeal and the court denied her appeal because she did not turn the papers in on time. Again, this was due to her lawyer’s poor representation Do you have an contacts in Kansas that can help her. It’s getting close to the end as she was just denied her appeal today so now the finalization hearing will soon be coming. What if anything can she do now? Please forward this if you can to anyone you might know that can help. Thank you so much.This sad plea was sent to my from Jonelle..who is fighting still for her own Baby. The sad story was covered in detail by Mirah Riben here.So that’s two..in addition to the Bennetts. Then there is my friend Laura…another person who contacted me vai Email. She was pressured into signing by her parents, despite being college educated, good job etc. While she was actually able to get a ruling on her side…the last I heard from her she was still really waiting for her baby to be returned to her.We had the Rashad Head case this year, where a dad was totally denied his child in adoption. Not to mention Allison Quets…so no final adoption, over 400K in legal fees, and she still cannot have her babies, so she sits in jail.Meanwhile, we have tv shows that make the Gladney Adoption centers look like they are actually helping mothers…cough cough choke…and national administration proming adoption like it is the answer to abortion ..when it is two separate issues completely. And our American royalty, umm wait..make that Hollywood celebrities are adopting like it is this years Gucci handbag accessory. Yes, there are chilcren in foster care that need homes..but these children, these infants that are WANTED by their mothers and fathers are being separated..again and again…due to really good public PR, uniformed and uncaring media, agenies that have the methodology of family separtaion down cold,and a court system that is heartless.Apartently, once one even thinks about adoption, much less signs the papers..then no matter how much time you might legally have,…you just are worthless and unworthy of a parent just for even..what do they call it before you do it..”making a loving coragus choice for you child”.I guess if you think about donating a kidney and someone does need it, then you MUST just becasue you think about it..right? The courts will make you give your kidney to someone who needs it more? Oh wait, no..thats not legal..unless it is adoption!!!Maybe, maybe if I send this to a million different investigative news people..someone, someplace might care??Where’s that box of hope and wishes??

BLOGGER BLITZ FOR THE PARENTS WHO DID NOT WANT TO RELINQUISH

August 28, 2007

I have been waiting for the go ahead on this from one of the leaders in OriginsUSA. Its a blogger blitz for Stephanie and Evelyn Bennett. I am also doing it for Allison Quets, Jamie Kiefer, Cody O’Dea, Joshua, Ibaanika, and Bryn. I am telling you now that we must never shut up until these folks have received JUSTICE. I may appear angry and bitter. Its the industry that has created this inside me. Its their consistent violation of our civil rights that infuriates me to no end. Yes it is also the adopters who constantly create the demand for children that adds fuel to this out of control fire. It is you that are also very culpable in this situation. You have the power to change things. Why do you allow the ignorance to continue? Why do allow them to violate the rights of the children you so desparately desire? Would you want your rights violated in the same manner as the ladies and gentlemen that I have mentioned?

Stephanie and Evelyn Bennett’s story can be found here. Sadly this story has not been ended. It drags on courtesy of the courts, the adoption agency and the entitled adopters. No one understands that hearts are being broken and lives destroyed all for the sake of a buck. Yes it is for the sake of a dollar. This is courtesy of Sandy ~ the Musing Mother.

In April of 2007, Stephanie had a hearing in the Probate Court, and awaited the findings of the court. The agency said that was the court that would be the correct court for the hearing, and the attorney that Stephanie had at the time didn’t fight it. That court has YET to rule. In the meantime the Bennetts hired a new attorney to represent them. The new attorney who was familiar with Adoption Law, as their previous attorney was not, said that since both Stephanie and Evelyn were minors, the court with jurisdiction would actually be the Juvenile Court. On May 22, 2007 they appeared in Juvenile Court. Stephanie’s attorney came away from that hearing in very bad spirits, since it seemed that the Agency’s attorney, who is also married to one of the sisters who run the agency, was very friendly with the judge. She left shortly after the hearing to go on vacation with her family, and was using her down time to plan the appeal that she was almost certain would follow on her return. She returned to her office from vacation and found the judge’s ruling (attached) and was very heartened to find that it seemed that the judge was strongly on the side of Stephanie, and indicated that she would a) allow the results of the polygraph examination that Stephanie was required to take in to the court, not as evidence but as testimony, and b) that Stephanie had been used badly by the system and she was sensitive to the loss she had experienced. She ordered an Evidentiary Hearing be held forthwith, on the validity of the Mother’s consent. And, they waited, through the rest of May, all of June, all of July and into August. Stephanie’s attorney called and tried to set dates for the Evidentiary Hearing, but always something came up, another case, a vacation, a full docket, always something. Procedurally, the agency’s attorney should have filed an appeal if they were not happy with the judge’s ruling. Instead, they filed a motion for the judge to vacate her own order! With no hearing, no in-chamber meeting, nothing. Just out of the blue, or over a cocktail with the agency’s attorney, or hitting balls on the golf course, the judge decided that she wasn’t the appropriate court, despite what she found in her ruling, and no one bothered to tell Stephanie’s Attorney!!! So, they wait for the Probate Court ruling, which STILL has not been made, and it is now over 4 months ago!! During the time that they waited, the police stepped in and did a DNA of the putative father who voluntarily went into give it. They also agreed that the umbilical cord of Evelyn’s would be okay for a sample of DNA. However, since it is the police that are doing it, and it is for a criminal case, it takes longer than if it were paid for. So, it still hasn’t come back yet. It should be back very soon. In order to get the police interested, Stephanie had to undergo a polygraph which she passed with flying colors. The test was administered by the police department, but it was reviewed and analyzed by not one, but three separate experts who all were in agreement that Stephanie had told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In the meantime, Judy Bennett, Stephanie’s mother, got word from a “reliable source” that the Attorney General’s office is conducting an investigation of the agency, A Child’s Waiting. Judy called the AG’s office to find out if it is true, and was told that they could not give out information about current investigations, but that if it is so and the AG’s office is investigating, that not only will the agency lose its license, someone will go to jail. The Pap’s have left the state, and their whereabouts are unknown at this time. They know exactly what is going on, they know all the facts of the case, and yet, they still continue to keep this child, this precious infant, from her mother, and the family that loves her, and Stephanie, the mother, is left in a Hellish Limbo of Unknowing! She can’t talk about anything, she can’t do anything, even go to visit her cousin in the event that a hearing will be held and she will get her baby back. She is about to enter her Senior year in High School, a time when she should be worrying about her back-to-school wardrobe, planning her Prom, as an athlete, practicing her basketball moves, and checking out her possible college choices. Instead, she has been thru an ordeal that would, and HAS, broken many older, more sophisticated women. How long can this torture endure? How long can this teenage mother hold out against the machine that is eating her and her infant alive? She has been abused by the father of her child, by the system, by the agency, by the School Counselor, by the courts, and by the law that is supposed to protect her. Someone surely should pay for this abuse! Someone should be outraged at the continuation of this travesty and tragedy!! Someone needs to stop it, now. I am counting on the bloggers. I hope that when you read this you will be as outraged and as furious as I was at the treatment that this young woman has received at the hands of the unscrupulous and unethical agency and courts. Please write about this and make it abundantly clear how you feel.

Allison Quets’ Story is another of adoption attorneys out of control. I will absolutely never shut up about her. They have stolen her children and her life. They have put her in jail as a result. They held her ransom in their offices for 11 hours without any respite. She had to call the police to help her. They have tried to make her out to be the bad guy. She is not. The Needhams were never held accountable for not allowing Allison to see her children during COURT ORDERED VISITATION. Its been suggested that Allison wanted money from the Needhams. NO I was wrong about that. It was suggested by the Demonic Patricia Stowbridge, adoption attorney, that she could recoup her expenses this way in order to lure Allison by plying her with money. Funny how the attorneys have made her look to be the evil one? How much money did they receive from the Needhams and other adoptive families? All for the sake of PRODUCT.

Of course there is Joshua, Cody, and Bryn. All from different states. All denied their rights because of one particular adoption agency. The Adoption Center of Choice. Remember them? One is from Georgia. One is from Indiana. One is from Wyoming. Did you know that this agency was actually banned from Illinois? Oh yes they were. Here is one link. Hopefully we will have news on Cody’s case soon. Hopefully he gets custody of his child soon.

How many people have we not heard from? How many is going to take to get people to listen? ADOPTION IS NOT WIN/WIN/WIN when the rights of those living it have been consistently violated. ITS TIME TO STAND UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO ALL THESE STORIES. Would you want your children taken from you if you had fallen on bad times or if you didn’t know the law? Its happening all over the world. Do you want your child to find out that they were wanted by their parents? That their parents fought for them? That you fought their parents for custody? With the help of the internet and folks like me, they will find out. Are you ready?

By the way, for all the agencies and attorneys that do troll the blogs, you might want to attend this event in Virginia. You obviously need to learn ethics badly.

The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc.Adoption Ethics and Accountability ConferenceOctober 15-16, 2007Arlington, VirginiaConference Brochure Now Available The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc. are co-sponsoring an exciting and timely conference, Adoption Ethics and Accountability, in Arlington, VA. This is the second conference hosted by the Adoption Institute that focuses on critical ethical issues in the field today.Join us as we explore ethical issues in adoption with adoption experts and members of the adoption community. Conference participants will have the opportunity to attend panel discussions and workshops focusing on a variety of issues including birthfamily rights, transracial adoption, birthfamily and records searches, industry regulation, and best practices.Dates: Monday/Tuesday – October 15-16, 2007Fee: $325 full conference registration ($162 one day)Location: Marriott Crystal Gateway1700 Jefferson Davis Highway,Arlington , VA1-800-228-9290 or 703-920-3230When making your hotel reservation, reference Adoption Ethics Conference to get your reduced rate:$179 for single/double; $189 for triple and $209 for quad.Book now – Rates are normally $269 to $329 and higher.If you are interested in sharing a room with another conference attendee, please contact kjohnson@adoptioninstitute.org. We will provide your name and email address to those interested; however, you are responsible for making your own payment and accommodation arrangements.For more information, please contact Mari Cochran at 617.680.0808.

FURIOUS ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS

August 26, 2007

Just when I think it can’t get worse, it does. I wonder if all the words that I state, all the statistics that I quote, and every thing makes a dent with anyone in adoption. I had the sad misfortune of reading something very very vile. I wanted to immediately take a bath. I was fuming that I had to calm down first before writing anything.

One prospective adoptive parent wrote about losing her referral:

In any case, I was horrified to find out that this even COULD happen! Heck, no birth-mamma-drama was a huge part of my decision to go with international vs domestic adoption! And silly me, after hearing all this talk of the birth mother having signed away her rights, I figured she’d, oh, signed away her rights

Another adoptive parent wrote in her support:

The difference between IA and domestic, however, is that once this is a done deal, it’s a done deal. The documents are sealed after court and you’ll never have to worry about hearing from them. At least that is my understanding.

Where this was written sent everyone in a fury. It was offensive to both adoptees and natural parents. It boggles the mind that anyone would say either of these things. The first person also has the “gall” to call the natural mother in this case “Mommie Dearest.” I thought that was originally used to describe an adoptive mother, Joan Crawford. Joan Crawford’s adopted children were also Georgia Tann babes. Ironic that someone would use that to describe a natural mother.

I do understand that this woman was hurt by the loss of her referral. That can be painful. So is the loss of one’s parental rights and one’s heritage in the signing of the pen just to satisfy the needs of an adult who thinks she is entitled. Attitudes such as these are what keep records closed.

RANCH ROUND UP ~ DEDICATED TO ALLISON QUETS

August 19, 2007

This is the Saddle of Our Hearts.

The black leggins were made for the ranch manager. Nice huh!!!

The pillows are the Colors of Coleman.

The blanket of course is the Mother and Child Reunion.

Of course us.

GOTTA LOVE THIS SNARKY BASTARD ~ MS. CHARLOTTE LAWS

August 14, 2007

I don’t mean any offense to this woman. I love what she says. It gets to the bone of the matter. I wasn’t gonna write any thing more because I have just got so much to do in a short time. So here is the link. Below is the article. Enjoy!!!!!!! I sure did. I got a good giggle out of it.

Confessions of an Adopted Child
By Charlotte Laws,
Aug 13, 2007
The writer’s search for her birth parents triggers many questions: Can a person have a genetic predisposition toward particular moral values and favored activities? Can DNA be a factor in a person’s distaste for vintage automobiles or her attraction to sports? And where did the love for sequined evening gowns come from?

I was born in the backseat of an Oldsmobile. My mother was in labor for 15 minutes, not long enough for my father to drive us to Grady Hospital in downtown Atlanta. I popped out during the Drifters’ song “There Goes My Baby,” and moments later, there I went.
In the emergency room parking lot, I was whisked away by a nurse, complying with a prearranged adoption pact that operated under the assumption – supported by most adoption “experts” in 1960 – that cutting ties should be done in an abrupt and swift fashion, like pulling off an old Band-Aid. I would never see my natural parents again. At least that’s what everyone thought.
My adoptive family always had the appropriate number of cars, boats, housekeepers and country club parties; they were skilled at complying with “old money” standards. Those who had “new money” – such as show business folk or overnight get-rich schemers – were naturally inferior to us, or so I was told. By adopting me, my parents were on track for procuring a suitable number of children for a respectable family: two. My brother was adopted a couple of years later.
To the neighbors, everything looked primed and painted, but I was well acquainted with the wood filler and industrious termites beneath the surface. Partly, my negativity stemmed from a perception that I was an outsider with an entirely different value system. I did not qualify as the black sheep of the family for only one reason: sheep tend to be followers. I was more like the independent black cat who went my own way.
From grade school to high school, my classmates regularly criticized me for supporting the civil rights movement, for rejecting communism conspiracy theories, for failing to be enamored with all Republican candidates, and for not accepting Jesus as my Redeemer, despite the fact that I attended religious services six days a week.
It galled my friends when I lusted over the flashy, sequined evening gowns that the “new money” movie stars would wear to the latest premiere. Then I’d show up at the school dance wearing one and hear the whispers percolate throughout the room.
I felt ideologically out of place regardless of whether I was at home, school or the local mall and wondered why. Many studies point to a connection between biology and criminal behavior, but what about biology in relation to simple run-of-the-mill beliefs? Could a person have a genetic predisposition toward particular moral values and favored activities? Could “nature” make a person more likely to support universal healthcare, gay marriage, educational vouchers or the National Rifle Association? Could DNA be a factor in a person’s distaste for vintage automobiles or her attraction to sports?
The answer seems to be yes. British and Australian researchers determined that twins who are reared apart think similarly on subjects ranging from sex, religion, politics, divorce, apartheid and tough-mindedness; and twin research at the University of Minnesota confirmed the finding. “Nurture” has little influence on a child’s personality. In The Blank Slate, Steven Pinker makes the case that as much as 70 percent of the variation between individuals in areas such as political leanings, personal philosophy, intelligence and personality are derived from genes.
According to the Washington Monthly, a study conducted by Bruce Sacerdote found that biology rather than environment correlates with income. He learned that “being raised (as an adoptee) in a high-earning family doesn’t seem to have much effect (on the income of the child when she grows up), while being born (as a natural child) to a high-earning family does.” Did this mean I might have to give up those big-ticket gowns and go from being “old money” to “no money?”
Adult children often seek out their natural parents in order to address health concerns, such as to determine whether cancer or heart disease runs in the family. But I wondered if it could help a person better understand herself. I aimed to find out and started the search for my natural parents at the age of 25.
The process was jammed with roadblocks. Adoption records were closed; in other words, I was not supposed to gain access to names or identifying information. Although the bulk of my detective work took place by phone from my home in Los Angeles, at one point I traveled to the Atlanta adoption agency that had placed me and persuaded an employee to divulge the names of my mother and father.
When I was told “Wilson,” I anticipated a needle-in-the-haystack search and realized I had not even arrived at the farm. Today, there are 2.5 million listings on Google with my father’s exact first and last name.
As I sleuthed after data, I picked up helpers along the way. Amiable strangers in Georgia, Maryland and Virginia – most of who lived in residences that were once occupied by my mother or father – volunteered to devote investigative hours and legwork to my pressing mission. I made calls. They made calls. In the end, I found my father’s former college and got his contact number from alumni records. I located my mother via a Baltimore school that had employed my grandmother.
I learned one parent is a university professor and author, and the other works for the U.S. government in Washington D.C. They gave me up for adoption because they were in graduate school and did not plan to stay together. They didn’t.
In the end, I found parents – as well as aunts, cousins and a grandmother – who have values and interests akin to my own. They study philosophy, are environmental advocates, teach aerobics, have similar taste in art and suffer from the migraine headaches that have plagued me since I was a child.
My mother’s religious path detoured in the same way as mine. We were both raised Christian, then attended a Unitarian church for a while, and eventually converted to Reform Judaism.
Although my natural family is rich in heart, their pockets are not totally bare; so genetically speaking, it looks like I may be able to feed my “frock habit” for a few more years.
The ongoing connection with my kin has taught me why I am the way I am, and why I am unlike those who raised me. I appreciate my adoptive parents’ efforts, but have learned that one can never have too many parents

GONNA BE A COWGIRL BAABYYYY

August 11, 2007

Its Rodeo season for me again. It will probably be the last time that we will be allowed to compete in the Ranch Roundup. At the other sanctioned ranch roundups, they don’t include the crafts and cooking in the total points earned by a ranch. The hubby is almost finished with the saddle and leggings. I have gotten my swedish weave pillows done. I am working on two other projects.

I may not be around much. So be patient with me and I promise that I will post the pictures like I did last year.

NORTH CAROLINA’S IDEA OF ADOPTION REFORM

August 6, 2007

The adoption reform movement in North Carolina settled for a Confidential Intermediary law. Shame on them. What they don’t know and understand is that this will hurt them in the long run. At least TXCare came up with something better. I hope the next Texas legislative year that they do better. In that regards, I will help them in one arena. I will do everything in my power to discredit Gladney and their intentions. I think this time TXCare has learned their lesson from Maine, the comeback kids. I have a feeling that they just might come back stronger.

Confidential intermediary laws are based on the reunion and medical history of the adoptee. What these folks don’t realize is that these are not rights. They are not based on the adoptee’s right to access their original birth certificate. Access to the OBC is a basic human right. In New Hampshire, Oregon, Maine, Alaska, Alabama, and Kansas, all adoptees have access to the records that accurately record our birth. In Tennessee and Delaware, 98% of adoptees have access to their records because of contact and disclosure vetos. This is the kind of law that Texas would have had if Gladney Adoption Center had not intervened.

Now North Carolina has this type of law. Twenty five years ago this kind of law would have been progressive. It is not progressive now. It puts adoptees in other states behind the power curve. All the strides that other states have made in changing things including Texas will now look to North Carolina. Maine’s victory will go site unseen. According to this one person, there is now an legislative study commission on how other states with adoptee access have fared. She is supposedly working with adoption agencies on this issue. Are you seeing the same warning signs that I see? Flashing red lights ahead.

Psst come here let me tell you a secret. Something that I don’t think they realize. That means you won’t be able to come back to fight another day. That means that they just kicked you to the curb to wait until this study comes out if it every does.

Here they are claiming victory. Its not one. Its a serious step backwards. How can you give the rights of adoptees and their families over to the agencies? They will charge hefty fees. Colorado charges $1,000 bucks. Indiana charges $500.00 bucks through the court system. The agency themselves charge $400.00 or more. There is also no integrity in the CI system. The CIs themselves decide how the conversation will go. They report to no one. Oklahoma charges $500.00. A friend tried to get her records from them. She still had to sign up on the registry which is $20.00. She has to be on it six months and receive counseling (of course she is an ungrateful bastard ~ oh for shame). She already knows that her natural mother is deceased. She is trying to get her records to find her natural father. She had been in reunion for years and years. She still has to go through this process. The loyalty of the CI is to their agency. They will do everything to cover the tactics used back then and today. If they have their own agenda, they will go through with it. If your CI is a natural parent, they will see to that side of the issue. If your CI is an adoptive parent and an agency crone, they will cover their own buttocks. If your CI is an adoptee and an agency crone, they will cover their own bootie. You the paying person are not protected. It all depends. If you really think that there is no corruption in adoption, drink the koolaid. If you think adoption is filled with corruption, guess what your group just got its proverbial butt in a sling and they don’t care about you.

A CHILD’S WAITING

August 5, 2007

Okay am I the only one who sees this and the coincidence of this agency? iBastard and Just Enjoy Him both brought this up. Now it is being brought up here. Do you remember this blogger blitz for Stephanie Bennett and her daughter? Guess what folks???? Its the same agency. They specialize in disruptions. Check out these adoptive parents who have also had hell with this agency.

We can’t forget these cases. We need to learn from them. How many is it going to take to realize that we need to change adoption? How many can you ignore? You can read these stories all over the internet.

Rashad Head.
Stephanie Bennett.
Allison Quets.
Shawn McDonald.
Jamie Keifer.
Cody O’Dea.

MY TAKE ON THE ALLISON QUETS’ CASE

August 3, 2007

I was waiting to write anything on Allison. I wanted to protect the sanctity of her case. I had hoped that the appellant courts of Florida would reconsider their thoughts and put them in writing this time. This would allow her to pursue her case to the Supreme Court of Florida. I am in contact with Allison. Its breaking my heart that she is in so much pain. It ticks me off royally that Florida is so crooked. Yep crooked. Its obvious that this is in the appellant courts. Its in the family court system there as well.

ALLISON QUETS ~ DO YOU REMEMBER HER?

She was the mother accused of kidnapping her children supposedly placed for adoption in Christmas of 2006. Many bloggers, myself included, posted information about her situation. I recently befriended a friend of hers. I also got into contact with an investigative reporter who is writing a book on family and adoption law in America. I became appalled even further at the story unfolded in front of me. I also recently wrote a letter to Allison. Today I received a letter back from her.

Although I do not want to get into details about her current situation and legal battles, I will do a recap of the events that brought her to her current plight. Allison is a mother just like me and many others. She planned and wanted her children. She chose to go through Invitro Fertilization with both egg and sperm donation. She developed a severe condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. It is a severe form of morning sickness. It causes mineral and electrolyte loss, nausea, and vomiting. She was hospitalized twice for this. Both times nearly cost her life and the life of her twins. She was on feeding tubes on both occasions because she could not keep food and liquids down. Most women gain 40-50 pounds during their pregnancies but Allison only gained ten pounds. This is a very debilitating disease. It is not caused by IVF. Two of the indicators of this is a first pregnancy and a mulitiple child pregnancy. For Allison it was both.

During the second stay (May 2005) at the hospital, John Gurley, a long time boyfriend/friend, became worried that he might lose her. It starts off with it being innocent but his intentions are not that honorable. He does not want the twins to interfere with his relationship with her nor her care for his daughter and grandchild. He suggested putting the children up for adoption. He recommended his cousins, the Needhams. Once the Needhams heard about the twins, the war had begun. Please understand the Needhams are NOT the adoptive parents. They currently have custody of the twins. That is it. Kevin Needham’s mother and John are cousins in this mess. Mr. Gurley pressured Allison into giving the children to his cousins. He told her that she would still be a part of their lives. The Needhams hounded her until the birth of the twins. They showed up at the hospital immediately. John Gurley was helping her out with the twins until she was able to get on her feet. Allison did have a nanny helping her out as well. It is still very difficult to get back on one’s feet after suffering from a severely debilitating disease and surgery.
Allison tried putting off John Gurley by placing restrictions on the adoption. She wanted her expenses paid. She wanted to name the twins. She also wanted visitation. She spoke with one couple and they were put off by the desire of the visitation. Initially the Needhams were also put off by the payment of expenses. It is legal to request that a natural mother’s expenses be paid. So this is not unreasonable at all. It is obvious to me that she is trying to stop the adoption. She is just trying to make him happy to get her off her back. I can relate to that because I don’t like to be mean to people. I rather just make a show of doing something all the while sabotaging it along the way. Just me in real life.

Allison had to have a c-section. She also required 5 units of blood. Keep in mind this woman was beyond weak at the time of delivery. In every other circumstance, an individual would not be held accountable to their actions. The contract would not be considered a legally binding agreement. This kind of contract only seems to be legally binding in adoption. Is Florida law becoming more and more like Utah? Utah adoption agencies have had several cases where the natural parents did get their children back. In fact several agencies have been banned from the practice of adoption in other states.

In August of 2005 (the twins were five weeks old), Allison agreed to meet with the Needhams. She wanted a face to face meeting with them to tell them that she was not going to give her twins up. She felt that she owed them that much. They met in the office of their attorney, Michael Shorstein. He kept Allison there for eight hours. They were trying to get her to relinquish with promises of an open adoption agreement. This is not legally binding in either Florida nor North Carolina. There is no contingency for visitation. She finally had to call 911 (which was aired on the Dr. Phil Show) to get the papers back because she didn’t want to give them up. Mr. Gurley then drove Allison and the twins back to Orlando and left them there. After two days as the sole caretaker of the twins, her mind and body cracked. She has just had surgery, the demands of the twins, no sleep, not eating, and disease that knocked her on her butt. She didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. On 8/16/2005, she signed the paperwork terminating her parental rights. Within 12 hours, she changed her mind and called Mr. Shorstein. She verbally notified him. She also wrote a revocation at 17 hours. Within 72 hours, her attorney hand delivered the revocation paperwork to Mr. Shorstein. This was all done BEFORE the termination of parental rights went before the judge. It is also my understanding that not all of the paperwork for the Interstate Compact on Child Placement forms were signed. So this adoption was not finalized. It was being contested. Florida Law states that there is no revocation period for natural mothers when their children are under six months of age. It is so obvious that this is a case of coercion and deception. The Needhams did not return the children. In fact they had another family member bring the children to North Carolina. They didn’t even stay in Florida for the ten day time frame required by law. While the case was being contested, Allison was given visitation in September of 2005. She thought of her children every waking moment. When the Needhams complained that it was a hardship on them, she got a place in North Carolina. In June of 2006, Judge E. Mcrae Mathis ruled that the Needhams should have full custody of the children. She appealed her case. In December 2006, on one of the visitation dates, she took her children to Canada. Thus began the very publicized story of Allison Quets. Allison also began to sue the Needhams, Michael Shorstein, and three others in a civil suit as well. On January 19,2007 Allison was returned to Raleigh-Durham to face charges of international kidnapping. The judge in North Carolina refused her bail because she was considered a flight risk. So she has sat in jail every since. The courts in Florida also sealed all documents regarding both the socalled adoption and the civil suits.

Okay if the paperwork is not properly signed, why was the adoption allowed to continue? If the revocation occurred before the Judge even heard the termination of parental rights, why did Mr. Shorstein even continue with this? Oh that is right I forgot. Its about money. Or is it? Rumor has it that the Needhams can’t pay their adoption bills. They are going after her money now. Judge Mathis also has connections to the Shorsteins. He should have recused himself immediately. Its now a battle on whose ass is going to be covered first.

Recently the appellant court came down with their ruling without an opinion effectively shutting off an option of going to the Florida Supreme Court. One has to wonder why. Maybe they want to continue to hide the shameful corruption of adoption. One of the attorneys in Allison’s case was overheard discussing children as product and the best markets in order to attain this product. I hope that Allison is able to appeal their lack of decision.