Archive for May, 2007

SURGERY HAS BEEN SCHEDULED.

May 29, 2007

Okay I have gotten the news from my doctor. I am set up to get “things” taken care of on 6/20. So wish me luck.

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MEMORIAL DAY – VETERANS AND MOTHERS

May 27, 2007

Not only do I bow my head in reference and thanks to veterans across this country but also to the many natural mothers who are not recognized. I will always remember her. How can I not? She is as much a part of me as my daughters are.

I met a Cheyenne Indian named Marvin a few years ago. I stunned him when I told him my daughters’ names and why I named that. I got to see him again. Come to find out he is adopted just like me. His story is an interesting one. His mother was forced to give him up for adoption because of his dairy allergy. He needed additional care that she was having a tough time being about to do with four other children. It wasn’t even an issue of abandonment. The doctor pretty much forced her. He was told that it was an issue of abandonment. It took a while for him to calm down about it. He was contacted by his sister about the issue. Both he and his natural family have been doing great ever since. They did a lot of this to the Indian Nations across the country.

Every time I think about stepping down, I get told another story. I run into another adoptee, natural mother or adoptive mother who want changes. I get told by all members living adoption that I need to continue the fight. So there is no going back to blissful ignorance for me. I can’t and I don’t know how do it. So here I go again.

I will be presenting additional stories of Gladney mothers in the future. I will also be writing and publishing letters to Texas and Indiana legislators. I will also be publishing their replies.

May 24, 2007

As I sit here typing this, I hear stomping on our storm shelter door. My delightfully humorous ponies are begging for me to come outside. I have decided to ignore them and write on my blog. Lord knows they will wake up my exhausted hubby. He has been working on other parts of the ranch doing what they call spring works. It is not easy dragging, flanking, and marking calves who are actually quite big and heavy. Some were actually looking to rub some snot on some poor cowboy’s butt. Its enough to make ya laugh. The cowboys don’t laugh but they do come home dragging and cranky. They are not a whole lot of fun to be around. You gotta love them for doing a hard day’s work. These calves are big enough to knock down even our tallest, lankiest cowboys. Just as one of them did today. He did have a rough day. My hubby was runover by one spirited calf yesterday. Oops there go the dogs. I bet Junebug and Shorty are driving them nuts. They like to tease the dogs unmercifully.

Its needs to be mentioned that several important events have occurred this week. They can be read on Bastard Nation’s website, http://www.bastards.org and at Marley’s blog, Http://www.bastardette.blogspot.com. There is important announcements on both Hawaii and North Carolina.

Although I do realize that the North Carolina folks have worked hard on their bill, sadly its changed and morphed into a Confidential Intermediary law. It allows adoption agencies to act as a go-between adoptees and their natural families. First off, no telling what these agencies say to our parents. Second, it is not a matter of if they will charge. They will charge an exorbitant amount of money. The going rate is $1000.00. That is hard on people who are not wealthy. Third, it continues to allow adoption agencies control over our very lives. They want us considered incompetent by reason of adoption forever. Fourth, these agencies are the wolves that guard the very henhouse of mothers and children. Why should they be allowed to continue to profit off those living adoption? When you settle for this kind of bill, this is exactly what you get. Adoptees and their families are continually treated as property of the adoption agencies and the state. Why is the state of North Carolina in the business of regulating human lives and reactions? Should those relationships be even regulated? In every other sector of humanity human relationships are not property of the state. What makes us so criminal that we need to be regulated? It is the lies of adoption agencies and their ilk that continue this lie.

In Hawaii, the governor is taking on major heat because she refuses to sign off on a safe haven bill and making it law. We members of Bastard Nation commend her on her actions. Its is tough to honor the traditions of the Hawaii people. The tribes of Hawaii want their traditions honored as it should be.

The “Baby Dumpers Saviors – The Morrisseys” would have you believe otherwise. According to their article in the Hawaii reporter, the world, Oprah, Bill O’ Reilly and many others will come down on her and her state. Somehow I don’t think so. Oprah is far more worried about the plights of women’s every day life. You can check out this editorial at this address: http://www.hawaiireporter.com/story.aspx?b43f6c34-49be-4544-a6d0-7c3317830518 . Very harsh and mean spirited. They don’t come across as rational people. Nancy Grace is a purely mean money grabbing attorney who doesn’t know her head from a hole in the wall. Frankly that is probably what her brain is. A blank empty space that she fills with shit every now and then to keep from hearing the hallow sounds of the walls of her brain.

The so called Unintended Consequences report is by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. Adam Pertman and his people usually base their information on factual evidence. They do not base their information on hysterics as the Morrisseys do. That report can be found here: http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/whowe/lastreport_coverpage.html. As far as his challenge of Adam Pertman, Mr. Pertman probably walked away from him because this man will not listen to common sense reasoning and facts. Mr. Pertman walked away from this man because he was more hysterical than a woman still on the rag on the verge of menopause. Sorry ladies for the gross vision and description. These people are filled with insanity.

So take a moment to read these articles and a few more. There are so many stories here and all over the world. Adoption news comes in many forms:

http://www.boston.com/news/local/connecticut/articles/2007/05/23/senate_approves_bill_to_give_adoptees_access_to_birth_records/

http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=0e740076-a770-4848-a8cf-c0989f3dabf1

http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2007/may/07052305.html

http://www.expatica.com/actual/article.asp?subchannel_id=1&story_id=40090

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070523/NEWS01/705230375/1056/COL02

http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070523/OPINION05/705230304/1006/OPINION

http://www.buffalonews.com/185/story/81368.html?imw=Y

http://httwww.tmz.com/2007/05/12/sheryl-crow-adopts/

http://mentalhelp.net/books/books.php?type=de&id=3640

http://www.boston.com/news/local/connecticut/articles/2007/05/23/senate_approves_bill_to_give_adoptees_access_to_birth_records/

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/topstories/news-article.aspx?storyid=82698

http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=6553178

http://www.suntimes.com/news/brown/397002,CST-NWS-brown23.article

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2007/05/13/lifeandtimes/17_20_495_12_07.txt

http://www.revisor.leg.state.mn.us/bin/bldbill.php?bill=H1445.0.html&session=ls8

So read, learn and enjoy. Then get up and do something about it.

Petunia

May 22, 2007

Http://www.stupidstuffithink.blogspot.com/ is our delightful Petunia. She is the consumate happy ass adoptee. On the laws issue, she does somewhat agree with many of us “anti-adoption folks which yes I am a member. She has said some pretty harsh words about a couple of dear friends.

Although I come across as anti-adoption, I am not truly because sadly our society does have a use for it. I do agree that when we need to diminsh abortion numbers but its not a good idea to do so through adoption. Educating our young men and women on the joys and perils of sex is one way. Holding men accountable for their contributions in sex is another. Promoting ways on keeping a child instead of having that baby sold to the highest bidder. Get rid of the tax credit on adoption and lower the cost of adoption. If an adoption agency asks a young mother to use medicaid, then the adoption agency must pay the state back. Regulate the adoption industry. Stop them from being coercive to young mothers and their children. Force prospective adoptive parents to consider parenting a foster child. Make adoptive parents take learning classes on being more receptive to an adoptee’s feelings. Allow adoptees access to their own records whatever the contact preference is. We need our own medical and geneological history. It is best if it is a discussion between us and our parents. A Confidential Intermediary is not the best equipped to get all the questions answered.

Although I love my adoptive parents passionately, they have ignored the part that my natural mother has contributed in me. They have forced me in many ways to ignore my own emotions concerning adoption. I have done enough research from reputable people to know that the NCFA does not have a clue as to what adoptees and their families go through living adoption.

Do I have angry emotions about adoption? Yes I do. Especially when I am facing major surgery within the next month for something that I unknowingly passed onto my daughters. All because one woman is scared of the past haunting her. Is it fair that my own parents seem to ignore the fact that I do have feelings about it? That it hurts that she rejected me not only once but twice because she is afraid. I am tougher than most people. Most people could not handle that. It is totally infuriating that people can’t see the truth that I and many others like me are living. Trying to prove that adoption is a happy happy joy joy thing is pointless. All you are doing is keeping the records further sealed. Sorry Joy no pun intended.

Only in adoption are those living adoption considered incompetent by reason of adoption. I mean all even our delightful Ms. Petunia are considered this. Can adoption be good? Yes it can. Can you as adoptive parents live with yourselves if you took someone else’s child without full consent of both parents? Can you not living adoption truly give a child up for adoption? I can’t. I would not want to or be forced into that.

Yes my emotions are powerful and sometimes overwelming but this blog and all my writing helps me channel it into a better constructive venue.

DEPLOYED SOLDIERS LOSING CUSTODY OF THEIR CHILDREN

May 21, 2007

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18506417/print/1/displaymode/1098/

Because these folks are serving their country, the judges are ignoring their rights. Sorry just ticks me off.

TEXAS – JUST GOT TO HARP ON OUR LEGISLATORS

May 21, 2007

Sorry folks it was rodeo week for the area in which I live. It was not competition for us. It was a PRCA sanctioned event. It is a time for all in the ranching community to get together for a social event. I will post pictures later. Both of my daughters rode in the parade with their daddy.

The adoption law in Texas is a frigging joke. They so desparately want to protect those “birthmothers from the past.” Like I said, its a joke. There are several reasons why I say this.

1. Our natural mothers don’t want that privacy from their own children. I can prove this just by going and checking out all the statistics from other states that allow adoptee access. What is ironic is not even our natural parents have access to the original birth certificates of their children. Our natural parents were not guaranteed privacy because their relinquishment papers were not sealed along with the rest of the adoption paperwork. Why you might ask? The relinquishment and the adoption were two separate events. Now our natural parents probably do want privacy from the state and from the adoption agency that they were coerced/chose to use. We must also not forget that our parents did also relinquish their rights but also keep in mind that adoptees did not. Most natural parents will tell you that they want their children to have their rights.

2. The birth, death, marriage and death indices in Texas are published. WE all have access to them through our libraries. Reunion is pretty much a cinch here in Texas. Access to our original birth certificate is not about reunion because we already have access to the possibility of reunion. It is about the right to the document that accurately records our birth. Texas is considered semi-open in the realm of the adoption underworld. Honestly what is the point of having a sealed record system when we can find in other ways? It is one of those things that just doesn’t make sense.

3. If you were to read, The Baby Thief, which by the way I plan on myself, it would tell you the real reason why records were sealed. In one very public story about Joan Crawford, her adopted son was returned to his natural parents. There were many stories where this woman illegally obtained children to pass on to others for the sake of profit. The reason why records were sealed were to protect those who abused the rights of others. Because adoption is a feel good thing for so many, the records were sealed so that legislators did not have to face the ramifications of those agencies’ actions.

4. The very reasons why legislators don’t want to take on adoption reform are two. The first one is that these agencies are making a huge profit. Texas is a business oriented state. They want to push any industry that makes a buck. The second reason is that adoption is a preferable alternate. After all it does save babies. Abortion is an issue where no one wants to tackle the truth behind it. No one wants to promote sex education. They promote abstinence here in Texas. Geez – with Texas having one of the highest abortion rates in the country is abstinence really working? Telling young boys and girls how their parts work would greatly help reduce abortion. Interestingly enough, one study put out last November by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute said that only 25% of women putting their children up for adoption were teenagers. I don’t know what the rate of abortions are for each age group. You can go to the Alan Guttmacher website for that. Texas legislators are promoting a bill that would pay women for the children. A measly five hundred dollars. The adoption industry is already a corrupt business. It is motivated by the huge profit margin that they get from convincing women to give their children up for adoption. They do use any means possible to get that product ( that precious little baby). I wonder if this legislator that presented this bill realizes that he is adding to the pockets of agencies like Gladney Adoption Center, Bethany and LDS. When the CEO of Gladney makes 200,000 dollars per year, who is really profiting? They encourage these women to use medicaid in order to have these children. Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

5. The other thing that never ceases to make me wonder. Adoptees don’t have any rights. Although I do believe in reunion, my choice in reunion, and believe in adoptee access, there are those adoptees who don’t want contact with their natural families. They may want their OBC but they don’t want contact with them. I was confronted by such an adoptee last year at this time. She did get a call from her natural mother. She wanted to be warned of such a thing. Yes, I do believe that all should be allowed to have a contact preference form. Adoptees don’t get to have a real voice on this issue. We are constantly forced to ask our adoptive parents, natural parents, adoption agencies, adoption attorneys, and state legislators for permission to look at our own records. This is something that no one else in the non adoption sector has to deal with.

Isn’t time for those living adoption to make the decisions on the laws instead of those profitting off adoption? Those adoption agencies need to have their books see the light of day. Those adoption agencies need to be held accountable for the actions in the past and today.

May 15, 2007

Two days out of every year are hard on me. One of them is Mother’s Day and the other is my birthday. I did not want to write a rant on Mother’s day. I just couldn’t. I chose just to wish everyone a happy Mother’s weekend.

My situation is kind of weird. I haven’t quite gotten to the point where I can honor my own motherhood just yet. I have not come that far in my own healing yet. I am still hurt by the choices of the mothers in my life. I understand their perspectives. Truly I do but it still hurts. I am entitled to feel that hurt. At least I am acknowledging it. That is the biggest step I have ever taken with this thing called adoption. One mother chooses not to even recognize me nor her own granddaughters. The other mother chooses not to recognize my natural mother’s contribution in me. So I feel negated. I feel zeroed out.

As far as the birthday thing, well I now don’t even think its my own birthday anymore. I am feeled with so much doubt towards the whole process. Sadly Indiana is known for this kind of thing. The whole adoption industry is against the truth. Indiana is also known for its incest. Someone told me to pick a day that would recognize me. So I have been thinking about that one.

I find it interesting that the Right to Life and Christian leaders have called upon its congregations to adopt or foster a child. Even though promotion of adoption makes me feel icky, I do understand that adoption and fostering is important and there is a need for it. All I am asking is for adoption reform. Adoption as it stands today goes against the Truth of God. Adoption as it stands today is about financial gain for adoption agencies and adoption attorneys. They don’t care how they get the product (that baby) from the producers (natural parents) just as long as they get it and are able to sell IT (that baby) to consumers/buyers ( adoptive parents). They have taken the humanity and the rights out of it. They own those rights and the humanity. They tell us what we can say, can feel, and can think.

Sorry folks I am not built that way. I will continue to write and write until society and our legislators get it.

Sadly off topic, I had to put down my pit bull, Scout. She took an agressive move to another loved animal in the house. He may not make it through the night either. I honestly do not believe that she meant to be agressive but she didn’t want my yorkie leaving her side. So she grabbed him like a mother does to a pup. It probably literally gave him a heart attack. So time will tell. Life is like this on a ranch. Choices have to be made. Lives have to be protected. It still hurts though.

May 13, 2007

HAPPY MOTHERS WEEKEND ALL

HERE ARE SOME MORE STORIES.

May 11, 2007

http://www.democratandchronicle.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070510/OPINION02/705100347/1039/OPINION

A delightful article by Father Tom

http://www.mmdnewswire.com/content/view/1618/5/

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070511/COL04/705110328/1001

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?articleID=070510_1_A13_hMain24770

http://www.oakbaynews.com/portals-code/list.cgi?paper=23&cat=43&id=980985&more=

SOME NEWS STORIES.

May 9, 2007

http://news.yahoo.com/s/kprc/20070508/lo_kprc/13276170

http://www.fdlreporter.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070509/FON0101/705090400

http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2007/05/07/4159855-sun.html

http://www.rochesterhomepage.net/content/fulltext/?cid=10547

http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20070507/bs_prweb/prweb524369_1

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_5851947?source=rss

http://www.wdbj7.com/Global/story.asp?S=6488496&nav=menu368_2